Tuesday, July 18, 2006

You asked for… "IT"
You chose… "IT"
Letting …"IT"
enter you
And Over…
And Over…
Victim of …"IT"
Naming… "IT"

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


How Do I feel about my Vagina?
Not so good. Which sucks for me I guess...
How I feel...VS... How it feels
Opposites I guess.
So my earliest memories of hating "IT" was when my brothers and their friends would touch "IT"
Always like I wasn't there, not important. If I could somehow detach "IT", leave "IT"...
come back and pick "IT" up later that would be great.
There was, after all, no curiosity about ME. No need to play with ME. Just "IT" and "IT" wasn't connected to ME at all.
I remember Oprah once talking about children feeling guilty for deriving phisical pleasure from abusers touching "IT".
My first reaction was "Damn I been cheated again... " cause I ain't feel nuthin.
When I was 18 I told my fiance that
I was abnormal because I'd never been sexually aroused. I mean I loved, and I do mean loved kissing. But I never had any desire to go any further. Anything beyond kissing made me invisible again and "IT" became the most important thing in the room.
Then I had sex, (I'd done plenty of other shit before that but never actual intercourse), and "IT" became a living breathing thing. "IT" had a life all it's own. Always responding, always ready and wet. It's what they love about "IT"
"Damn you're so wet girl!" Them feeling all powerful and shit thinking they're doing something spectacular to me, when "IT" is in complete control of the situation. "IT is doing what "IT" wants, feeling what "IT" wants to feel and "IT" ain't got nuthin to do with "ME".
And i'm kinda pissed off now... and a little bit sad
cause "IT" is decieving us all.